you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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