Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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