If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
