3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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