New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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