I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
