And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We're too hungover to prance.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize