if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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