Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
