haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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