The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
