I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
