his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
