How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize