Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
