Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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