so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
