Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
