You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
