Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
