he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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