i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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