I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
