Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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