So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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