Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
