trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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