Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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