They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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