It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
