Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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