Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
