8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
