So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
