I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
