farters have to be the big spoon...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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