hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize