You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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