How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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