a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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