I want to have your abortion
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
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Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
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Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
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