Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
