..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
