Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
