Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
