so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
