I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
