You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Randomize
