I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
