one two three fourrrrnication!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
