We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize