ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
