so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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