i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
