So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
