Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
