i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
