Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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