I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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